This was my journal during training for the ordained ministry, read that story in the archives

I recently re-watched the film Instinct it’s one of those films which quietly works away at you, then jumps up and bites you on the ass as you realise what is going on, of course Anthony Hopkins portrayal of Ethan Powell is excellent which helps.  I’ve watched it before and ‘got’ the message, enjoyed the film, the end etc.  However, this time through, now knowing the story and how it finishes, leaves a little time for reflection whilst watching, and ignoring the cheesy moments, you can almost fade out of the film for a bit, then focus back in after a bit of thought.

It’s film with a metanarrative unlike so many modern films which dwell on the instantaneous thrill of action, it makes you engage with the story and if you do consequently it effects your story.  The film story may not be true, but it holds truths.

The human society, just one of many animal societies, is too advanced for its own good and has lost the social capacity to live harmoniously with others, even others of the same species, let alone those of supposedly inferior species.  So are we all supposed to go and live in the jungle?  Well no!  But it would be good to take a wake up call such as Theo Caulder (Cuba Gooding Jr) does in the film and realise, we are not in control (scary for all us control freaks) we are not free (scary for those in the ‘free’ world) and we need to break the illusion that we are!

The Film was based on the book ‘Ishmael’ by Daniel Quinn, I guess I’ll have to seek it out!

I’m sure most organisations suffer from this syndrome, it’s something which seems to effect everyone from time to time, ‘nothing must change’, ‘it was far better before’, the so called ‘Back to Egypt Brigade’ have been in full force recently.  I caught the beginning of John Bell speaking at Greenbelt and reminded me of this phenomenon, that when on the verge of entering the promised land the Israelites bottled it and complained that it wasn’t nice there, even though they had seen the plentiful food and lush lands.  So God in his wisdom sent them out into the wilderness for forty years, one year for each day they had been whinging in the desert!

So what does ‘back to Egypt’ mean for us?  How far back, back to the so called ‘Golden Age’ of the Victorians who built far too many churches for their own good, and then sometimes to quite a poor standard?  The endless streetwalking and door knocking seemed to have had very little effect in getting people to go to church.  There was a lot of activity, but in reality the legacy was of redundant buildings and overly organised groups of people.

Ok, then further back, perhaps to the medieval period, no heating, cloths on the windows, confession on saturday to receive communion on sunday??

Neither of these is particularly interesting or inviting.  There is, however, a gleam of hope in this ‘back to Egypt’ malarky, it comes in the form of the style of churches and religious observance which was around in the middle-ages.  Large monasteries were dotted around the country, some wealthy towns could afford to support a Priest, but not many.  Religious observance was far less than it is today, but, when there were festivals on, most people turned out.   They would travel to the large monasteries and cathedrals for whit, lamas, harvest, christmas, easter.  These festivals were the people’s religion.  The small communities of monks and religiously minded people would organise the festivals for the people, they would also in some cases be land owners and would provide employment and food for the people in their neighbourhood.

There are many things about the middle-ages that would not be welcome today, but the principle of a smallish community providing for the surrounding area, in both spiritual and edible food is worth returning to, at least to give it some thought.  It would stop the constant bickering over bums on pews, and focus the attention on practical tasks.  It would also draw a community together rather than dispersing it, I love the idea at the end of the morning service on Iona that there is no amen.  Standing for the closing responses people are encouraged to go straight out into the common tasks for that day, to serve one another in all manner of community minded activity!

(this comes with a nod towards Graeme Smith and his book ‘A Short History of Secularism’)

Still digging through the pile of notes I made after Greenbelt.

I think the comment which sparked this off was by Richard Burridge, but it might not have been!!

Reverse the Lord’s Prayer, what would that sound like?  Not the words, but the meaning.  I remember the comment, and the first line, however, he didn’t carry on and complete the job, so i’ve done it for him!
Here’s the original, just to remind you

Our Father,
Who is in heaven,
Hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
On earth, as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread,
and forgive us our sins,
as we forgive those who sin against us,
Save us in the time of trial,
and lead us not into temptation
for the kingdom, power and the glory are yours,
now and forever, Amen

And here’s the reverse version…

Your Father,
Who is on earth,
your name is unknown,
your kingdom’s got no chance,
your will is ignored,
On earth and probably in heaven as well (wherever that is).
Give us today everything we don’t need,
but don’t forgive our sin,
because we’re not about to forgive others.
There is no time of trial except our struggle for more wealth,
and we like temptation, it fuels our greed.
For the Power the Kingdom and the Glory belong to those who seek it
now, and until someone dies trying to make a difference, Amen

I’ve been watching ‘Big Night’ this evening, a small yet great film from 1996 where two Italian brothers risk everything to save their business on one night of food. I was led to this film whilst looking at material for a confirmation course, the themes relating to Eucharist are replete and muti-dimensional throughout it, however to get back to the title of this, Sara Miles was speaking about a food distribution center she ran in LA and the film reminded me that she had commented that: “We should give food to the poor, not because we want to do good to them, but because we know what it is like to be hungry” It is very much the same with Eucharist, one reason why I guess this film strikes a chord with me, is that it is not good enough to prepare for and preside at the Eucharist in a second rate manner, hungry people deserve to be fed the best food, just as much as those who are fed regularly. I’m not suggesting that there should be one particular way of doing this, just that it must be without compromise. I don’t (surprisingly enough) subscribe to the idea from the film that “if you give people what they want for long enough eventually you get to feed them what you want to give them” I think, like Primo, I would rather not prepare anything than serve ‘meatballs with spaghetti’ as it were!

Keep plugging away, eventually the tide will turn!!

Since being away I’ve realised there is a bit of catching up to do, I’ve just responded to a note I left myself to order some fairtrade shirts.   Maggi Dawn mentioned it a week or so ago, so I’ve taken the plunge and ordered two.  The good thing about these shirts - or so they claim is that the labour is paid for fairly as well as the cotton!

There is now much to un-pack, dirty clothes and lots of notes on scraps of paper - photo’s will have to wait as I had to use an ordinary camera!! Once the clothes have been washed and the scraps assembled, I might even have something coherent to say. It was good to catch up with people I’ve not seen for ages though!!

Picture of the labyrinth

This has been growing now for some weeks, I only got around to photographing it today, I must admit we are feeding quite a few slugs and caterpillars, but it has been used a fair bit. (some of our choir were late into the service because they we walking it!!) The plan is to plant some flowers after the vegetables go over / get eaten.

Why does everything start to come good just as you are about to go away?? Toms are doing really well, courgettes have finally decided to grow, cucumbers are doing well, caterpillars are needing collection every morning and chillies, (sorry for the naff picture.) It has taken two years to grow this plant, (i’m quite chuffed as you can imagine) this year there are loads of small bullet shaped fruit, twilight chillies go through a number of colours before hitting the jackpot and being devilishly hot!! We may make some Chilli jam, mmmm.

Hmmm!!

Following writing on Britain from above, and listening to yesterdays Thinking Allowed I have been pondering on the question of vocational living in any one of these places, rural, semi-rural, urban, city etc.

There must be a vocational element to living in each of these, I’ve always been drawn to the rural setting, I don’t seem to be built for the city somehow…

However after the illuminating picture of Britain from above, and listening to reflections on rural living, perhaps the real challenge is to live in a more heavily populated area and work towards reducing the footprint away from the centre of that geographical area, keeping money and travelling local rather than spreading it across a larger area.  I think, rather than suggesting one lifestyle, (rural, urban etc is better than the other), the thing to focus on is locality.  Following the reflections on Thinking Allowed, it seems to rural has as much to learn about community from urban centres as the perhaps idyllic rural images people may have are either not true or created rather than natural.

Those who seek the urban ‘pretty gardens and perfect lawns’ need to see the real rural life which ocasionally contains a little mud on the road, or perhaps a chicken or two and the idillyc rural seekers need to learn about small communities needing the involvement of each individual and of a life lived more in the open.

So where does that leave to vocation to a rural setting?  Answers to that may be short, but certainly not closed.  It may take on an altogether different style of ministry from the traditional rural…