Essay Feedback:  What they really mean.

Tutor:  Come in, have a seat.  Would you like some tea?
This is going to take a while.

Student:  Thank you, yes please.
We have to pay for tea down stairs

Tutor:  Thank you for getting your essay to me in plenty of time
If you hadn’t then there would not have been time to rectify all the heretical statements

Student:  I thought it best to get started early
I have no idea about the subject in the slightest

Tutor:  You have made some interesting points here
I said interesting, not necessarily good

Student:  I tried to cover all the areas of the question
I wrote everything I could find on the internet on the subject

Tutor:  This reference is a little obscure
When cutting and pasting from the internet, check the references first

Student:  I found it gave an interesting angle on the subject
I knew you wouldn’t like it – that’s why I put it in

Tutor:  I would like to see development in the methodology of this essay
I would like to see some sort of structure at least

Student:  My essay style is rather more free flowing
I found that if I pasted paragraphs together quickly it sounded fine with an ‘and’ or a ‘but’ here and there.

Tutor:  Would you say the ethical arguments you posit in your individual syncretistic didactic style counterbalance the meta-narrative of the subject?
wriggle out of this one

Student:  The language one uses is merely the vehicle for ones views
I’m a post Witgenstinian and I don’t need to understand it.

Tutor:  Moving on to your conclusion
I’ve had enough of this

Student:  I was carefully drawing together the stands of this essay
I wrote this bit myself

Tutor:  Did you feel you were challenged academically with this assignment?
Did you understand a word I was saying in the lectures?

Student:  The lectures were stimulating and interesting
Lectures?

Tutor:  Please consider my comments when you submit for summative assessment
Re-write it.  From the beginning

Student:  Thank you for your time
Thanks for the tea

Tutor:  Don’t mention it.
No, really, don’t mention it.  Everyone wants tea.